Head in the Clouds

NPR on ADD in Girls

My ex called me today to tell me that they were talking about ADD in girls on National Public Radio. I ran down to my kitchen and listened to part of the show, a segment on Talk of the Nation. I’m happy to see the topic get this coverage!

 

You can listen to the whole segment online here, which I plan to do as well!

Those Boys

Last year, in third grade, my daughter started rolling her eyes when she talked about the boys in her class. The boys were too noisy. The boys were distracting everyone. The whole class had to wait until the boys settled down.

But she may have more in common than she thinks with those boys she’s complaining about. “I’m quiet in class,” she told me the other day, “except when I can’t help talking to my neighbor.” I’ve seen her do that, too, at school or ballet: She pokes a friend. She whispers something. They giggle.

All this speaks to the differences between boys and girls when it comes to ADD. A boy might be more likely to squirm around and start wrestling with the boy next to him during circle time, whereas a girl might be more likely to turn to her friend and, well, do just what my daughter does. In fact, some experts say that talking a lot or being extremely social can be a type of hyperactivity—a kind girls are more prone to.

My daughter prides herself on how she acts at school—and in general she truly does behave well. Her pride might speak in part to society’s expectation that girls—more so than boys—act in a quiet, polite, and organized way. That pressure can push a girl with ADD to keep it together during school, if she can, waiting until afterward to, let’s see, do trick riding on her bike, perform backward somersaults over the couch, and break a slat on her bed by jumping on it. (I need to get under there with some wood glue one of these days.)

When my daughter complains about the boys, I sympathize with her about how irritating their behavior must be. But I try to talk about the boys in an understanding way, as well, pointing out that it might be really, truly hard for some of them to sit still. That some of them might have ADD, like Mom. That it might be just as hard for them as it is for my daughter sometimes to sit in a crowded circle of fidgety children.

But it’s not like I’m so perfect on the compassion front myself. More on that in tomorrow’s post.