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May 13, 2009


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I think if those condolence notes are a heavy weight, you could still send them. With a heartfelt, simple message, they would be warmly received.

Claire Walter

As a society, we have lost the skills of sending real notes, whether of condolence or congratulations or just to say hello. We type on our keyboards and our Blackerries. We Text and we Tweet. But putting pen to paper and mailing the note shouldn't be lost forever. Many people treasure stacks of letters, notes and cards that remind them that others care about their victories and losses, their triumphs and tragedies. They are still worth sending.


I know what you mean. I know that feeling you're talking about.
I'm wondering: When time has passed, and you realize the letters are still sitting there, or you find them later, or it crosses your mind (again), do you find it even harder to try to send it, being as late as it is? Or, are you fine with "better late than never"?
The observation itself of ADD and "missed opportunities" rings so true. I never heard put that way. It's just way too true.
PS-Thank you for blogging. Not to sound self centered (although this is somewhat self centered...) but it is VERY reassuring to read all this. I know I'm NOT lazy, among many other negative things I was nearly convinced of, about myself. It's just not true, huh? Awesome blog. =)

Kathleen Christensen

Mandy, thanks for your encouragement. I still plan to send them ... someday.

Holly, yes, my old pattern is to feel shame about being late with something like this, then to put it off more, then to feel even more shame and put it off even longer, ad nauseum. I've gotten better at the "better late then never" thing, and I usually catch myself earlier in the process these days. Knowing about my ADD helps; it eases the shame a bit. And ... I'm so happy you didn't convince yourself that you're lazy!! (I have a thing about that word ...) Thanks for sharing that with me.

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    Why Call It ADD?

    • The name is so wrong. ADD stands for attention deficit disorder, and ADHD adds an H for hyperactivity. I use the former, since I don't have the H thing.

      But a deficit of attention? I think most of us with ADD would agree we have more like a surplus of attention. And a disorder? That leaves out our strengths.

      Still, I use ADD because it's a widely understood term for a useful concept. When you comment on this site, feel free to use whatever term you're comfortable with.


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