My April Fools’ Day post referred to an imaginary service—“Gmail Custom Time”—that would enable users to send e-mails in the present as if they’d been sent in the past. I’m still laughing. But why do I think it’s so funny?
“Be on time. Every time,” crows Gmail’s web page about its faux offering. “Just click ‘Set custom time’ from the Compose view. Any email you send to the past appears in the proper chronological order in your recipient's inbox. You can opt for it to show up read or unread by selecting the appropriate option.”
Well, how many of us with ADD wouldn’t like to be on time every time, just by sending e-mails off into the past? I could sign my daughter up for that Humane Society summer camp back before the camp and even the waiting list filled. As I promised to, I could send information about pesticide risks and alternatives to the business manager of a preschool whose lawn was sprayed last spring and is probably getting sprayed again right now. I could send a note of condolence to my former mother-in-law right after my former father-in-law passed away three years ago.
Even though an IT friend assures me it is possible to date e-mails in the past, we’re usually stuck doing the best we can without this type of technical help. Working on time management is helpful, of course. But for me, the most fruitful place to intervene seems to be on the shame piece.
Perhaps you know the drill: You’re late with something. You’re embarrassed, so you avoid doing whatever it is, and you don’t talk to a single person about it. Days and maybe even years pass. You’re way past the time when you should have completed the task. And your shame is taking over like that instant pudding in the old Woody Allen movie Sleeper.
Somehow I’m able to own up and make amends more quickly these days, albeit way, way far from perfectly. Here’s what’s helped, I think:
• Learning that it’s about my ADD brain, not about some moral failing.
• Attending lots of support groups.
• Sandwiching with a safe friend when procrastination threatens to take over: processing with the friend about the difficult step I need to take, taking the step, then calling the friend back to report.
• Catching myself when I start making excuses—to myself or anyone else.
• Giving myself permission to be imperfect.
Facing and dealing with the truth is hard work sometimes, but definitely more satisfying in the end than a deceptive e-mail would ever be.
Still, this fake testimonial for Gmail Custom Time is pretty appealing: “The entire concept of ‘late’ no longer exists for me. That’s pretty cool. Thanks Gmail!”
Gmail's April Fools' Day spoof is still up at http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html.
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